True Love

"The earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt the Father's Broken Heart
Tears were filling Heaven's Eyes
The day that True Love died, the day that True Love died
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died, The day that True Love died."

This is currently my favorite song and it's by Phil Wickham (personally, I think our ACF band does this song even better than him, just sayin') This song puts a lot of things into perspective for me, starting with the fact Jesus is the true love because His love is perfect. No other love can come close to comparing to His. God created me with a heart that can be satisfied only by His love. Knowing these facts, why do I search and search for a love on this Earth to fill that void? It really helps to exlain why I am continuously let down by people's love, not because they don't love me with their whole hearts, but because human love isn't the True Love.

My heart was deisgned and constructed to hunger for love and to desire passion. The desires I have to be loved unconditionally aren't weird or strange, they are the desires that God has PLACED in my heart. So if God placed these desires in my heart, and God promises that if I delight in Him, He will fulfill the desires of my heart (Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires. Psalm 37:4), will He not fufill these desires I have? Here's the kicker though, He hardly ever satisfies those desires in the ways I would choose or guess them to be satisfied.

For example, my number one stress going into ministry was that I'd have to share a room with someone, possibly two people and never have the opportunity for alone time... something I like to call "introvert time" and is highly necessary for my sanity. After weeks and weeks of stressing about this, I decided in June I would give God that worry and not think about it anymore. Sure enough, a week before I was leaving San Diego, I got an email from Perry saying the girl interns were going to be living in a two bedroom house all year, instead of at ACF. AND the other two girls were going to be okay with me having my own bedroom. WOW! This wasn't even something I could have EVER dreamed could happen. From day one it had always been that I would live in a house with 5 other women so my prayers had been for God to help me with patience and that I would be able to find ways to maintain my sanity throughout the year. God fulfilled a desire of my heart (for alone time) with something that I never even thought of as an option!

Hmmmmmm, maybe I should apply that to the fact that I am single right now. I should trust that He knows me far better than I know myself. He knows I need alone time and instead of helping me not need alone time, He blessed me with a place to have alone time! Someone asked me just a couple days ago: "How many hairs are on your head Virginia?" My response was ofcourse, "I have no idea". The person's respone: "He does." Luke 12:7 "Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows." Since He knows me better than I know my self, I need to trust Him with my life and the purpose for my life. Since this is so much easier said than done, it's not as freeing as God intended it to be. However, it's something to work towards as a daily goal. To fall in love with HIM so I may one day know how to love and be loved by _______ (insert future husband's name here).

xoxo, va