A 24-Hour Precious Gift

“The Sabbath was made to meet the needs of people, and not people to meet the requirements of the Sabbath. So the Son of Man is Lord, even over the Sabbath!" -Jesus

This verse answers so many questions about what it really means in the Ten Commandments... "Honor the Sabbath and keep it holy." It means that God created the Sabbath (Sunday) to be a day for us to rest, recharge our batteries, and be ready to go out into the world. (WHATEVER that looks like!) He realizes how important it is for us to be spiritually, emotionally, and physically healthy and that it requires a WHOLE day to recover from the week's struggles. What an amazing God He is!! We should thank Him and honor Him for this glorious gift!

Recharging the batteries looks different to all people, if you're like me, getting the laundry done and house cleaned is vital for me to have a successful week, if it doesn't get done on Saturday, Sunday is my day to do it! Sunday could also mean playing soccer, running around outside, shopping (for SOME this helps relieve stress, but for me it causes stress!), cooking, playing games, etc. My pastor said it best this past week at church, "He wants us to pray AND play!"

To hear my King saying "The Sabbath was made to meet the needs of people..." makes me all giddy inside! Not only does He love me unconditionally but He LIKES me to, and He wants to see me successful during the week, giving me a whole 24 hours to do what I need to do to get ready. In San Diego, Sunday's have been days that I spend at the beach or pool. I love laying out and reading all my "fill me up books".... the ones that talk about my Lord! Then going to church at night just gives me a super charged boost to start a successful week. I pray I will always remember that Sunday's are a GIFT from God, and cherish them, and honor HIM through them... whatever the day's activities look like.

xoxo, va

HE is Big Enough

Two days ago, I discovered the severity of the cancer that one of my oldest friends faced, someone had used the word "terminal" in an email to me. I couldn't tell you what the rest of the email said because immediately my brain and heart shut down. my very first thought was anger. Anger at God who was taking ANOTHER friend of mine from this Earth. Then came the bitterness. The bitterness that He could have the "nerve" to do this to our community again, having only lost Michael 5 months ago. Names popped into my head of people who had already passed away from my class. With each name recited, more anger and bitterness grew. I wanted to run, I wanted to hide, and above all, I DIDN'T want to turn to God. So many good things were happening in my life right now, God was showing up in HUGE ways with divine encounters and a deeper understanding of who He is and what He is all about. Why would He let something bad happen right now, when I was just starting to trust Him again?! I talked to my dad on the phone, crying (more like sobbing) searching for answers... answers that won't be answered until the day I see Jesus face to face. Getting off the phone with him I had to get out of the house, had to go some where. Not knowing where I was going but thinking I'd end up at the beach, I put on my bathing suit and packed all my books about God (including my Bible) into my back pack. I just started driving and found myself on Coronado Island. (where it costs 10 bucks to park at the beach but the silence of not having many people around is worth a million dollars!) Over the next three hours I cried, talked to Jesus (because I was to mad to talk to God), and read. I have learned, throughout my other heavy grief moments in my life, that God is big enough to take my anger. So I let Him have it, I poured it all out. He then began revealing things in the beauty and the vastness of the beach, in His word, and in the current book I was reading (John Calvin and His Passion for the Majesty of God by John Piper). Including:

"The Lord has certainly inflicted a severe and bitter wound in the death of our baby son. But He is Himself and Father and knows best what is good for His children."
"Whether we want him to be there of not, he is there. We do not negotiate what we want for reality. God defines reality."
"...You do not believe me? If you want me to protect you, learn to believe what I say." Isaiah 7:9
"...How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his methods! For who can know what the Lord is thinking? Who knows enough th be his counselor?...For everything comes from him; everything exists by his power and is intended for his glory. To him be glory evermore. Amen." Romans 11:33-36

He began comforting me, even when I really wanted nothing to do with Him. I also realized, over the course of the day, that I hadn't lost this friend yet!! He was still here and he was still alive!! I had to stop acting like God had already taken him from me and start living like his survival depended on prayer, true pleading prayer. I had gotten caught up in the selfishness of "O Lord, why another friend of MINE", instead of pleading at the feet of God for my friend who needed a miracle. So at this point, I'm still sad and hurt that another friend of mine is suffering but God is big enough, He can handle that frustration. But I refuse to let those negative feelings get in the way of pleading for the life of my friend. God is big enough to take my anger and He's also big enough to heal. If healing isn't in His plans, I will cross that bridge when I come to it, and trust God even when I don't understand. For now, I will live in the present, and lift up my friend's name every single chance I get!

xoxo, va

To Fear or Not To Fear

A wise person once told me that whatever you fear most, controls you. It controls how you think and how you process things, the decisions you make and the things you fall victim too. For example, if a woman fears loneliness, all she thinks about and lives for is finding her husband, and all too often, settles for someone who isn't her perfect man. Someone who lives in fear of poverty will work themselves to death for money, with little focus on anything else. A person who fears judgment from others will be obsessed with their appearance and often spend all their time judging others. For me, my greatest fear is disappointment and often I let it control how I act. Being a perfectionist goes hand in hand with my fear of being a disappointment. I typically expect perfection, especially in myself. More often than not, I find the need to be the best at everything, no matter what it is. This causes me to be discontent in friendships, jobs, classes, and even my relationship with Jesus. So many times in my life I had "revelations" of wanting to follow my faith again but at the moment I "let God down" by screwing up, I ran from Him, scared of facing the disappointment. That fear kept me from experiencing all Jesus had to offer.

Verse after verse in the Bible talks about the importance of fearing God. ("And from the throne came a voice that said,“Praise our God, all his servants, all who FEAR him,from the least to the greatest.” Revelations 19:5) He is a just God and we, as sinners, should fear his wrath. But with the sacrifice of Jesus, He now stands between us and God. And since I believe and love Jesus, God doesn't see my disappointments, He sees Jesus when He looks at me, and therefore I am pure and perfect in His eyes. WOW. That's so stinking cool.

So now, as I sit through the weekend, worrying about something that happened at work and whether or not my boss will be upset with me, I can't let the fear of disappointment control me. What's lost is lost and no amount of worrying or stressing will get that fabric sample back. I can't let that fear control my relationship with my boss either. I can't just stop going to work because of that fear. I can't lie about the situation just because of my fear. I can't run from any future responsibility because of that fear. I have to charge head on into work on Monday, and face that chance of being a disappointment. LUCKILY, my identity is not in this job. My identity is in Christ, as His bride. Whatever the outcome, I know my Lord doesn't look down on me as a disappointment and doesn't love me any less!

"For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17

xoxo, va

Speaking His Language

I'm currently reading Here and Now by Henri J.M. Nouwen and a quote from the chapter titled "Conversion" is "Jesus does not answer from below. He answers from a place far beyond the powers of the world. His answers come from his most intimate communion with God."

In the Bible, Jesus constantly answered questions with sayings that sound like they make no sense. For example, When the apostles asked him: "Lord, has the time come for you to restore the kingdom of Israel?" Jesus answers: It is not for you to know times and fates that the Father has decided by him own authority, but you will receive the power of the Holy Spirit... and you will be my witnesses" (Acts 1:7-8) Sometimes the answers we get from God and the Bible make little sense to us, but that's because the answers aren't of this world. And unless we stay in the word and learn to listen and understand God's language, we won't have a clue what he is saying in response to our questions.

This thought process triggered from me thinking about what I am going to do after my internship with Auburn Christian Fellowship. It's absolutely crazy that I am thinking about something one year in the future! I need to focus on being in San Diego, and all the many things that this internship has to offer. The older I get, the faster life flies by... so why must I hurry it away by thinking about what is happening next??

SO for now I will tell you about about is happening right this minute in the life of Virginia. I am highly enjoying my internship with Young + Co., Inc. The president of the company is out for a month due to surgery and my boss (the senior designer) is on vacation with her family so I am having to take on lots more responsibility than I had thought I would have. It's great though because I am challenged and forced to think, instead of just skating by doing the "typical" internship jobs like file papers and fill out forms and sort things.

Other than my internship, I have started to make a couple friends in San Diego, and have definitely fallen in love with the weather!! I'm focusing on reading as many books as I can and taking as many pictures as possible. I continue to run towards the cross, knowing that to be able to hear the answers to my questions, I must stay directly in tune with the Spirit, learning to speak His language!

xoxo, va