When running on "E" is a good thing....

Just wrapped up my last night of work, which turned out to be a terrible one, and I am emotionally, physically, and spiritually drained. I've been running 100 miles per hour since spring break and looking into the future, there is little room for a slow down. First and foremost, looking into the future is terrifying so I am trying to focus on the minute by minute and getting through the next day.

Secondly, being on empty could be a good thing. With Bali fast approaching, now less than 48 hours away, I feel like I have nothing to give God or the people of Bali, or even my mission team! This trip should be one I am totally prepared for, spiritually, emotionally and physically, however I am not prepared in any of those avenues. While talking to me best friend and accountability partner tonight over the phone, cyring harder than I have cried in months, she helped me see why being on "E" is a good thing... it's a good thing because my best will NEVER EVER EVER be good enough. Nothing I do or prepare for will ever be "good enough". However, I have a hope that is found in Christ. Through him, I AM GOOD ENOUGH!! Through him, I have energy and strength and peace of mind and a clear head. Through him, and ONLY through him, can I change lives and make a difference. Without him, I would have never made it through this past month of hard work, why would I doubt him now???

As a control freak, letting go and letting God is one of the hardest things I have to deal with. Running on empty is a good thing for me, especially right now. It forces me to be broken and HE heals me and picks up the pieces since I don't have the strength to!!!

"For he has gathered the exiles from many lands, from east and west, from north to south. Some wandered in the desert, lost and homeless. Hungry and thirsty, they nearly died. "Lord, help!!" they cried in their trouble, and he rescued them from their distress. He led them straight to safety, to a city where they could live. Let them praise the Lord for his great love and for all his wonderful deeds to them. FOR HE SATISFIES THE THIRSTY AND FILLS THE HUNGRY WITH GOOD THINGS!!!!!" Psalm 107:3-9

xoxo, va