One of my favorite lines in music used to be "I'd rather laugh with the sinners, than cry with the saints" from Billy Joel's, "Only the Good Die Young". The song has my name in it and the beat is really catchy, but listening and processing the lyrics to the song makes me kind of sad it used to be a favorite. The song talks about a Catholic girl who has caught the attention of a bad boy. The bad boy wants to "ruin her" and taint her white reputation by telling her that heaven isn't worth the wait. It makes me sad because for so long I lived that way, and I see so many of the people I love still living that way, living like heaven isn't worth the wait. Sure, laughing with the sinners seems more fun than crying with the saints. Being a Christian isn't easy... but show me in the Bible where it actually says it's an easy life.
Being a Christian is difficult because it means living life differently than the people in this world. It means being surround by temptations that look, sound, and feel good but only for a short time. Being a Christian means giving up things that you feel make your life complete, like friendships or addictions or even movies or TV shows. Being a Christians is far from easy. But in the end the eternal joy is worth it. Being able to live for our creator in a way that pleases Him is far more rewarding than the life of sin this world offers. For a long time I thought I could be a Christian and not give up my lifestyle, my lifestyle of this world. But that isn't truth. And truth is found only in the Word...we are required to give up our lifestyles and be different from the world. "God blesses you when you are mocked and persecuted and lied about because you are my followers. Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember the ancient prophets were persecuted, too." Matthew 5:11-12 That doesn't mean we have to become judgmental, stereotypical, southern belle church goers. It means that we must do our very best, every single day, to strive to live a life like Jesus led. We will never be perfect, and we will never be free of sin, but living a life as close as possible is what we are called to do. If that means persecution and hardship and loneliness... so be it. I'd much rather cry with the saints than laugh with the sinners.
"I have given them your word. And the world hates them because they do not belong to the world, just as I do not. I'm not asking you to take them out of the world, but to keep them safe from the evil one. They are not part of this world anymore than I am. Make them pure and holy by teaching them your truth." John 17:13-17
xoxo, va
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Can I go back?!
I physically got into Atlanta around 4 hours ago but I'm now patiently waiting for my heart to catch up. A couple workers, some Balinese childen and an eighteen year old who would rather die then deny Christ, have stolen my heart and won't give it back. To say that the past eleven days were life changing would be the understatement of the century. It was evident that God hand picked me for the trip, more for how it would change me, and less for what I could do to change people.
Due to security and safety reasons, I am unable to put details of certain humbling and mind blowing situations God ordained while I was in Bali, however you're more than welcome to shoot me a text or phone call if your curiosity gets the best of you! I can, however, tell everyone the story of a young woman who chose Christ over the Hindu gods she'd worshiped all her life. After a year of hearing the gospel and being poured into by some incredible women of God, she was confronted with the challenge that she needed to make a choice. It was obvious she'd really already made the decision, just needed to say it out loud with witnesses! :) She was asked repeatedly, "Are you sure?!", not for lack of knowledge but for the shear fact that the cost of her choosing spiritual LIFE could quite possibly mean physical DEATH, even at the hands of her own father. The day we left, the plan her father had told her was that she would be tied up and beaten by her family and other people in her village unless she denied the name of Jesus. She would then be kicked out of her village if she still claimed HIS name!! When we asked her how she was, her continual response was, "I'm okay, I have Jesus!" and typically a "Hallelujah" followed!
What a powerful, mighty, awesome, HOLY, mind blowing God we worship! What was done in her heart had NOTHING to do with anything of this world but was a divine intervention in a young girls heart, who was open to answering YES to His call. Looking into her eyes, even when they were full of tears, she had no fear, because she knew that her God was with her!!!
Why do I, in my comfortable life, not have faith that God will carry me through situations when a young woman is willing to give her life for her King?! I have such little faith. However, I have been inspired to the fullest to run hard after my King, and bask in His glory for I do NOT deserve His love and mercy. I do not deserve His help in situations, having turned from Him more times than not. But HE LOVES ME, the same way He loves that precious Balinese girl and I enjoy the thought of running hard towards the cross, knowing she's right there next to me! :)
Matthew 17:20....
He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."
xoxo, va
Due to security and safety reasons, I am unable to put details of certain humbling and mind blowing situations God ordained while I was in Bali, however you're more than welcome to shoot me a text or phone call if your curiosity gets the best of you! I can, however, tell everyone the story of a young woman who chose Christ over the Hindu gods she'd worshiped all her life. After a year of hearing the gospel and being poured into by some incredible women of God, she was confronted with the challenge that she needed to make a choice. It was obvious she'd really already made the decision, just needed to say it out loud with witnesses! :) She was asked repeatedly, "Are you sure?!", not for lack of knowledge but for the shear fact that the cost of her choosing spiritual LIFE could quite possibly mean physical DEATH, even at the hands of her own father. The day we left, the plan her father had told her was that she would be tied up and beaten by her family and other people in her village unless she denied the name of Jesus. She would then be kicked out of her village if she still claimed HIS name!! When we asked her how she was, her continual response was, "I'm okay, I have Jesus!" and typically a "Hallelujah" followed!
What a powerful, mighty, awesome, HOLY, mind blowing God we worship! What was done in her heart had NOTHING to do with anything of this world but was a divine intervention in a young girls heart, who was open to answering YES to His call. Looking into her eyes, even when they were full of tears, she had no fear, because she knew that her God was with her!!!
Why do I, in my comfortable life, not have faith that God will carry me through situations when a young woman is willing to give her life for her King?! I have such little faith. However, I have been inspired to the fullest to run hard after my King, and bask in His glory for I do NOT deserve His love and mercy. I do not deserve His help in situations, having turned from Him more times than not. But HE LOVES ME, the same way He loves that precious Balinese girl and I enjoy the thought of running hard towards the cross, knowing she's right there next to me! :)
Matthew 17:20....
He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."
xoxo, va
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Without Fear...
My flight leaves for Bali in 5 hours and 48 minutes. That time starts a travel clock of 31 hours... 24 of which will actually be in the air. I'm flying to a place that is totally unknown, a place where Christians don't exist for the most part. My bags are packed and I'm ready. I have no fear or apprehensions about leaving, my trust is in the ALL POWERFUL, all knowing, all mighty, forever lasting, King. The likelihood of something bad happening is slim to none. However, when traveling far-far away, there is still a small chance.
My prayer for my family is that they do not dwell on "what-ifs" and they truly trust God with my safety, the way I am trusting Him. I have learned the past four months, and continue to learn daily, that when we want God to take care of something we have to completely let go of that thing. Totally and completely. We cannot ask God to handle something and then get off our knees and snatch it back from Him saying, "God, I know you're big and strong and powerful, but let me just keep this worry for my daughter/friend/sister/granddaughter/niece, until she gets back into the country, then you can handle things again." I pray that they will release me to the Lord and completely trust Him with me, He did create me after all. ;) And as much as my family loves me... it's crazy to think that God loves me even more!!
If, in the .000005% chance that something does happen to me over the course of the next 12 days... my God is bigger than whatever that evil thing may be. His will is FAR greater than my plans or my checklists. If something were to happen to me, He'd be crying up in heaven for the hurt that my family and loved ones would experience but He'd be rejoicing as I walked through the gates of His Kingdom.... as Jacob runs up and gives me a big hug!! :)
To God be the Glory!
"Fear nothing in the things you're about to suffer—but stay on guard! Fear nothing! The Devil is about to throw you in jail for a time of testing—ten days. It won't last forever. Don't quit, even if it costs you your life. Stay there believing. I have a Life-Crown sized and ready for you."
Revelations 2:10, The Message
xoxo, va
My prayer for my family is that they do not dwell on "what-ifs" and they truly trust God with my safety, the way I am trusting Him. I have learned the past four months, and continue to learn daily, that when we want God to take care of something we have to completely let go of that thing. Totally and completely. We cannot ask God to handle something and then get off our knees and snatch it back from Him saying, "God, I know you're big and strong and powerful, but let me just keep this worry for my daughter/friend/sister/granddaughter/niece, until she gets back into the country, then you can handle things again." I pray that they will release me to the Lord and completely trust Him with me, He did create me after all. ;) And as much as my family loves me... it's crazy to think that God loves me even more!!
If, in the .000005% chance that something does happen to me over the course of the next 12 days... my God is bigger than whatever that evil thing may be. His will is FAR greater than my plans or my checklists. If something were to happen to me, He'd be crying up in heaven for the hurt that my family and loved ones would experience but He'd be rejoicing as I walked through the gates of His Kingdom.... as Jacob runs up and gives me a big hug!! :)
To God be the Glory!
"Fear nothing in the things you're about to suffer—but stay on guard! Fear nothing! The Devil is about to throw you in jail for a time of testing—ten days. It won't last forever. Don't quit, even if it costs you your life. Stay there believing. I have a Life-Crown sized and ready for you."
Revelations 2:10, The Message
xoxo, va
Sunday, May 9, 2010
When running on "E" is a good thing....
Just wrapped up my last night of work, which turned out to be a terrible one, and I am emotionally, physically, and spiritually drained. I've been running 100 miles per hour since spring break and looking into the future, there is little room for a slow down. First and foremost, looking into the future is terrifying so I am trying to focus on the minute by minute and getting through the next day.
Secondly, being on empty could be a good thing. With Bali fast approaching, now less than 48 hours away, I feel like I have nothing to give God or the people of Bali, or even my mission team! This trip should be one I am totally prepared for, spiritually, emotionally and physically, however I am not prepared in any of those avenues. While talking to me best friend and accountability partner tonight over the phone, cyring harder than I have cried in months, she helped me see why being on "E" is a good thing... it's a good thing because my best will NEVER EVER EVER be good enough. Nothing I do or prepare for will ever be "good enough". However, I have a hope that is found in Christ. Through him, I AM GOOD ENOUGH!! Through him, I have energy and strength and peace of mind and a clear head. Through him, and ONLY through him, can I change lives and make a difference. Without him, I would have never made it through this past month of hard work, why would I doubt him now???
As a control freak, letting go and letting God is one of the hardest things I have to deal with. Running on empty is a good thing for me, especially right now. It forces me to be broken and HE heals me and picks up the pieces since I don't have the strength to!!!
"For he has gathered the exiles from many lands, from east and west, from north to south. Some wandered in the desert, lost and homeless. Hungry and thirsty, they nearly died. "Lord, help!!" they cried in their trouble, and he rescued them from their distress. He led them straight to safety, to a city where they could live. Let them praise the Lord for his great love and for all his wonderful deeds to them. FOR HE SATISFIES THE THIRSTY AND FILLS THE HUNGRY WITH GOOD THINGS!!!!!" Psalm 107:3-9
xoxo, va
Secondly, being on empty could be a good thing. With Bali fast approaching, now less than 48 hours away, I feel like I have nothing to give God or the people of Bali, or even my mission team! This trip should be one I am totally prepared for, spiritually, emotionally and physically, however I am not prepared in any of those avenues. While talking to me best friend and accountability partner tonight over the phone, cyring harder than I have cried in months, she helped me see why being on "E" is a good thing... it's a good thing because my best will NEVER EVER EVER be good enough. Nothing I do or prepare for will ever be "good enough". However, I have a hope that is found in Christ. Through him, I AM GOOD ENOUGH!! Through him, I have energy and strength and peace of mind and a clear head. Through him, and ONLY through him, can I change lives and make a difference. Without him, I would have never made it through this past month of hard work, why would I doubt him now???
As a control freak, letting go and letting God is one of the hardest things I have to deal with. Running on empty is a good thing for me, especially right now. It forces me to be broken and HE heals me and picks up the pieces since I don't have the strength to!!!
"For he has gathered the exiles from many lands, from east and west, from north to south. Some wandered in the desert, lost and homeless. Hungry and thirsty, they nearly died. "Lord, help!!" they cried in their trouble, and he rescued them from their distress. He led them straight to safety, to a city where they could live. Let them praise the Lord for his great love and for all his wonderful deeds to them. FOR HE SATISFIES THE THIRSTY AND FILLS THE HUNGRY WITH GOOD THINGS!!!!!" Psalm 107:3-9
xoxo, va
Monday, May 3, 2010
The Best Time of My Life
"The best way to live is to appreciate each minute as an unrepeatable miracle. Work at your work. Play at your play. Don't try to borrow from your future. Accept that now is the best time of your life."
These days, these hours... no matter how long and hard, truly are the best time of my life. As I again sit in the computer lab, waiting for the final pages of my senior thesis to print, I'm reminded that with all the exciting things coming up... I still have 8 days left in Auburn. 8 days to laugh and cry and play with dear, dear friends.
Although I will be returning to Auburn in August, I'm returning to a completely different world. A world without Outback and Interior Design... two things that have defined me the past 2-4 years. Leaving an identity behind is always difficult. Luckily, I have found a new identity, in Christ. This identity is never-changing and always stays the same... despite the circumstances. This new identity helps leaving the behind the identity of Virginia as design student and Outbacker a much easier transition.
This new found identity leads me down a road that is often difficult and lonely but so far, it's far more rewarding than any other identity, no matter how successful I have been with the others. This identity is perfect... not because I'm prefect by ANY MEANS... but because it's made in the image of Christ. I like this new identity... being the Bride of Jesus... how cool that! THE Jesus is my eternal husband. :) Regardless of the new identities I'll be taking on in the coming years as a fresh, college grad, I think I just might continue to keep the "Bride of Christ" identity as the primary!
"I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back." Philippians 3:12-14 The Message
xoxo, va
These days, these hours... no matter how long and hard, truly are the best time of my life. As I again sit in the computer lab, waiting for the final pages of my senior thesis to print, I'm reminded that with all the exciting things coming up... I still have 8 days left in Auburn. 8 days to laugh and cry and play with dear, dear friends.
Although I will be returning to Auburn in August, I'm returning to a completely different world. A world without Outback and Interior Design... two things that have defined me the past 2-4 years. Leaving an identity behind is always difficult. Luckily, I have found a new identity, in Christ. This identity is never-changing and always stays the same... despite the circumstances. This new identity helps leaving the behind the identity of Virginia as design student and Outbacker a much easier transition.
This new found identity leads me down a road that is often difficult and lonely but so far, it's far more rewarding than any other identity, no matter how successful I have been with the others. This identity is perfect... not because I'm prefect by ANY MEANS... but because it's made in the image of Christ. I like this new identity... being the Bride of Jesus... how cool that! THE Jesus is my eternal husband. :) Regardless of the new identities I'll be taking on in the coming years as a fresh, college grad, I think I just might continue to keep the "Bride of Christ" identity as the primary!
"I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back." Philippians 3:12-14 The Message
xoxo, va
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