"24"

"I want to see miracles, see the world change, wrestled the angel, for more than a name, for more than a feeling, for more than a cause, I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You, and You're raising the dead in me." -Switchfoot

24 means more to me than a two and a four. 24 is the date Jesus took my best friend from this world. And now, on the 21st of April, we are celebrating the fourth birthday of that special boy, without him. It's almost a harder day for me than the day of his death, September 24th. It's harder because it shows that life has moved on and Jacob remained 18, 18 in pictures and in memories. It's painful knowing that I am 22 and he remained 18. It's a reality check of how fast life has flown by. Now, at the closing of the chapter of college in my life, I wrestle with bittersweet feelings. I am excited to see how my life continues to play out but the sadness of knowing that I'm closing another chapter that doesn't include Jacob is hard to swallow.

I believe, without doubt, that my life would be far different than it is now, if Jacob were still on this side of heaven. We would be planning "PURE DOMINATION" and brainstorming on how to take over the world. He'd be coming up with projects to pull in millions and I would be content designing the buildings he wanted constructed. Thinking about doing design work without him is hard because he was behind a lot of the ideas that developed in my head, before getting into the interior design program. With Jacob and his connections, my degree would have made me rich. Now, although I still love what I do, it just isn't the same.

So now, as I wait patiently for the time to come for me to interview for a place in ministry for next year, I think about how life would have looked if "twenty four hours ago" something had been different.

"For this world is not our home; we are looking forward to our city in heaven, which is yet to come." Hebrews 13:14

xoxo, va